There’s Gourmet Sushi For Dogs (Who Lick Their Own Butts)

I don’t have an issue with pampering your dog. Dogs are pretty emotional creatures, and they need a lot of love, cuddles, food, and occasionally, for their owner to clean poop off their butt fur. I’m a dog owner, and I try my best to tend to my dog’s needs. I want her to be happy, and spoil her perhaps too much. But gourmet sushi is where I draw the line.

Dogs do not appreciate gourmet food, their tastes are much less fussy than ours. My dog is a pretty picky eater as canines go. She will, however eat poop. She’ll eat paper, plastic, and indistinguishable globules found on the ground. Yesterday, she ate my fancy headphones. She enjoys food, but once it’s reached the very low bar of, “is it smelly and can I ingest this,” she’ll enjoy it just as much as fancy food.

My dog enjoys sirloin at the same level as a mummified earthworm covered in ants. She won’t be able to distinguish between high quality, hand-crafted sushi, and the chunk of uncooked salmon she manages to hork down before my brain even processes that I’ve dropped it. In fact, it’s the thrill of the illicit find that seems to excite her the most. If I hand her a piece of bacon, she’ll happily eat it, but not with the gusto that she devours a used tissue before I can tell her to drop it. I can guarantee that the dogs who wind up eating at this Poochi Sushi place will have a good time. I can also guarantee they’d have just as splendid a meal at a restaurant called “Chez Cat Crap.”

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